Boston Band Crush

C.D. On Songs / The Best of Christmas Past

On 12.20.11 | In C.D. On Songs | by C.D. Di Guardia

We are almost upon the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right, the C.D. On Songs Crushmas Pageant is coming up this Thursday, and I have had cause to look into the history books of the Crushmas Pageant; looking for some of the good oldies. And there are a lot of them! I found some nice stuff from today’s Birthday Girl Jenny Dee (happy 19, Jenny!), some exotica from Jaggery, some Christmas glitter from Sidewalk Driver, and a picture of Kerri-Ann in what looks like a leather Christmas dress. Yeah, merry Christmas, boys. Some of these downloads are lost to the snowy winds of Christmas past. But we might be able to reach deep into the sleigh and haul them out if you so desire. So stay tuned for the big party, but for now, please enjoy…

>>Jenny Dee and the Deelinquents – “Santa Claus is Comin’”
As of late we have started to recognize Jenny Dee and the Deelinquents as a bona fide party on stage and on record. We just didn’t know their holiday parties were just as great. Jenny Dee sings loud and proud and the band swings mercilessly on “Santa Claus is Comin’.”

Jenny Dee and friends rock this one around the clock with a solid bebop rhythm that provides its own renewable energy source in the form of solid jive. Some vocalists have “sweet spots” or notes in their vocal register that they can sing the heck out of. It sounds like Jenny Dee’s vocal sweet spot is “Yes.” Her voice sparkles and shines as brightly as big old ceramic Christmas lights reflecting off recently polished silver-bells.

Dee and company sound ready to give the entire cast of the Phil Spector Christmas album a run for their money even though you know that Phil will probably be packing heat. Could this put an end to the Deelinquents reverie? We’re guessing not and already can’t wait to dust this one off for the 2010 edition of this very post.

>>Black Kettle – “Maybe This Year”
Christmas is associated with cheer. Look it up. And if you seek cheer, then you need only to seek out the women of Black Kettle. “Maybe This Year” is the ultimate expression of optimism and end-of-year cheer, complete with descending major keyed Christmas thematic and all.

Black Kettle does a fine job of working their sound into a Christmas song – “Maybe This Year” has the multi-tracked vocal tags that serve as a symbol of their sound, and the compositional mechanisms (such as the aforementioned major theme) that create “Christmas music” out of mere “music.” This song will make you feel as if every little snowflake falling onto your nose is full of magic – at least as long as the Black Kettle is working its magic. “Maybe This Year” is full of bouncy spirit that is as genuine sounding as it is infectious. And it is heaping helpings of both. Perhaps the women in charge of Black Kettle are part-elf, as they have crafted a fantastic musical toy.

>>Oranjuly – “Christmas Don’t Be Late”
The original version of this song was a miracle of (then) modern technology. One man, singing in harmony not only with himself, but sped-up, high-pitched versions of himself. Oranjuly’s Brian King brings “Christmas Don’t Be Late” back to its original speed and tone. It is true – I am going to dock King’s house (Oranjerin? Oranjindor?) 50 points for not letting us hear his voice in sped-up chipmunk glory.

This notwithstanding, King brings things back to normal human pitch, and it’s still pretty sweet. King’s reprise of Dave Seville’s three-part self harmony is impressive, and yes, he still wants a hula hoop. King somehow lends a bit of gravity to the song. It’s not just his laundry list of things he wants for Christmas, although we’re sure he wouldn’t turn down a plane that loops the loop. “Christmas Don’t Be Late” does not take itself too seriously, but it definitely gives us reason to listen in. Next year, we double-dog-dare King to speed up his voice, if he is man enough. Or chipmunk?

>>Wheat – “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
Wheat’s take on “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” has a different essence to it than the usual cozily, intimate arrangement. While we may be expecting Rowlf and John Denver doing a duet, Wheat winds up their little Christmas scene in an initial overture, and then they set the track to move slowly along on motorized rails, very much like one of those glowing snow scenes.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” does keep its own inner glow going throughout the program, and it’s hard to tell if it’s a good old-fashioned Yule log, the Christmas Star, or, as Uncle Louis suggests, the light on the sewerage treatment plant. We’re guessing anything but the last, because Wheat’s classic cover has a pleasant festive scent to it, a mix of of cinnamon and spices and a little bit of that burning dust smell that comes with old Christmas bulbs. And we love that!

>>Jaggery – “Arabian Dance”
It has been theorized that we can better grasp a concept if we look at it through the lens of another culture. Our various biases and whatnot become moot when considering a concept through this different lens. Jaggery’s take on “Arabian Dance” (from The Nutcracker, but of course you knew that) is just that weird enough angle that it gives us chance to reexamine the original piece and maybe determine just what it means to us.

When reviewing Jaggery’s rendition with the “original” (I am using the London Symphony Orchestra version from the ubiquitous Reader’s Digest edition, of course), we see that Jaggery has taken the smooth low-key tone of the original and set it on fire in a way. It is a slow burn; like the ballet dancers have just taken a few doses of some smooth-ride psychedelics and are just grooving on the “groove,” so to speak. Jaggery’s “Arabian Dance” shimmers in the horizon, but it also keeps on shimmering once we get right up to it.

>>Sidewalk Driver – “Christmas in Fallujah”
Sidewalk Driver’s “Christmas In Fallujah” starts off with a call to duty by Sergeant Mckitterick of the Sidewalk Driving Battalion, and his vocal tone immediately tells us that we ought to listen up. Sidewalk Driver’s guitarmy is in full formation, with captains Murdoch and Egan even managing to tease a little “White Christmas” in their glittering, melodic riffage. This is no “Goodnight, Saigon” – the rockets are blaring and the drums are crashing explosions all around, sending sand – or is that snow? – flying up into the air.

The only big guy in a suit visiting this track is Mckitterick, but who else do you need? Mckitterick, as usual, kills it with the vocal, winding his voice around the melody like a high-tensile strength power cable. Mckitterick’s honest vocal performance and gritty lyrics make this both a Christmas song and a protest song. Written in 2004 for an army battalion that got their Christmas leave cancelled, this “Christmas In Fallujah” is biting – to say the least. The song is conscious of not just those cozy in front of their fireplaces, but those experiencing Christmas in what may not be such cozy environs. Think of Sidewalk Driver’s “Christmas in Fallujah” as the Christmas version of “The Hurt Locker” and you’re somewhere on the pace.

>>Burnt Fur – “String Of Lights 120V 0.2A 60Hz”
Anyone who’s anyone loves Christmas lights. The sight of a long strand of colored (none of those boring white lights, thank you very much) winding around the porches and trees of the neighbhorhood has its own special brand of soul-felt electricity that comes plugged in and glowing warmly in Burnt Fur’s “String Of Lights 120V 0.2A 60Hz,” the sound of Harrison’s own memories of night-bound rides in the back seat of his grandparents’ car, watching the lights whiz by outside the frosty car windows.

The cadence of this song has a travelling quality to it. The rhythm evokes images of back-seat car rides, happening over manhole covers and the constant whirr of the street sound under the tires. The lights flash by in the form of brighter sounds, both near and distant. The vocals have a murmuring quality to them, like voices coming over the car stereo speakers or from a distant front seat. Harrison and Burnt Fur have done a good job of taking one of those brand new LED light sets that burn so brightly and then arranging them in old familiar patterns on the porch.

>>Spirit Kid – “It’s Christmas Time (Feelin’ Lazy)”
When we talk Emeen Zarookian, we talk all kinds of nice things. Things like songs that are just a series of hook after hook. Spirit Kid’s “It’s Christmas Time (Feelin’ Lazy)” is a solidly catchy yuletide special that melds the softly insistent vocals of the Beach Boys’ Christmas album with the swagger of Wizzard’s “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday.” “It’s Christmas Time…” transcends both songs, with more personality than the Beach Boys (sorry, Emeen) and more dimensionality than Wizzard’s classic.

Part of the art of Spirit Kid are the clever chord progressions, walking down the major, jumping up to a minor and then dabbling in the relative chords. Zarookian dabbles in chords likeRalphie’s Old Man dabbled in profanity and “It’s Christmas Time…” is no different. This song bumps along thanks to a walking/jogging bass and swings thanks to a small horn section (that is surprisingly not performed by Zarookian). Much like the wrapped stocking stuffer (an under-used tactic), this song is a nice little surprise hung on your fireplace with care or in your stereo.

2011 update: Spirit Kid has a newly produced video for this track – enjoy the Zarookian Goodness!

>>Aloud – “Happy Effing Xmas [Naughy/Nice Versions]“
Some carols proclaim the everlasting goodness of peace on Earth, goodwill towards men and the joys of spending Christmas at home or in a log cabin somewhere. You will find none of this sentiment in neither Naughty nor Nice versions of “Happy Effing Xmas.”

Protagonist Henry Beguiristain isn’t upset with the holiday itself, instead it’s a dysfunctional cast of characters including Racist Uncle Lou, a whiskey-fueled Grandma and a dropout younger brother. Beguiristain details the various pains of dealing with the family, while bandmate Jen de la Osa provides vocal support via a series of angelic, descending ooh-oohs that provide a pleasing backdrop to the National Lampoon’s-worth cast of characters.

The tone of this song is not vicious or even complaint-ridden – it’s simple bemusement at, in the words of the chorus, “What a great big f—ing joke this Christmas is.” There isn’t too huge a difference between the Naughty and the Nice versions of this song. A conveniently placed dog arf-arf!s over the occasional obscenities. They really have nothing to worry about vis-a-vis their standing with Santa Claus, but it’s stil nice to have a version to play for Mom and Pop.

>>Forest Fires – “Christmas”
It takes a special sort of person to be able to tell you to screw and still have you enjoy it. Christopher Pappas of Forest Fires (his side project from local luminaries The Everyday Visuals) has a pretty specific Christmas list full of fire and vitriol. He wants a pretty whore for some mindless fun. He doesn’t care what Mom thinks.

Pappas sounds fairly despondent in this song, but one has to look past the multitude of middle fingers to see the shockingly personal glimpse he gives of himself with every passing verse. Asking Santa for a prostitute for Christmas seems like the harsh wishes of a vulgar man, but instead it’s the demand of a soul that’s been burned so many times that he is sick of, in his own words, the emotions and commitments, who can leave his heart unbroken.

Pappas lays himself bare but does it in such an energetic, near-inspiring musical fashion that is empowering and catchy all the time. He doesn’t sound mad until you listen to the words. Then you think about the words and realize he’s not some cantankerous Gran Torino style hard-ass that wants the world to leave him alone. There’s something real going on in “Christmas” that makes us care about the rest of Forest Fires’ year. Here’s hoping he checks in (and doesn’t tell us to f*** off.)

>>Slack Wand – “The First Noel”
Why, you may ask, is this super-hot picture of Kerri-Ann Richard from Apple Betty attached to this review of some band called “Slack Wand?” It’s not just because we feel like it. Slack Wand is the super-hot Ms. Richard.

Whatever the identity case may be, Richard/Slack Wand’s instrumental take on the beloved “The First Noel” is something to behold. The Slack Wand orchestra stumbles around like a parade of misfit toys that occasionally wind down and need to be wound back up to complete the next lap around the block.

A tipsy guitar-twirling majorette leads the parade, plucking out the melody on a fuzzed-out electric guitar, always in the neighborhood of the note but with a slight wavering that only adds to the charm of this recording. Richard’s toy parade may be clunky, but it’s a joyous one – as endearing as a Charlie in the Box or a Bird Fish. This track is full of character – you find yourself rooting for the instruments as they continue their loping trek to wherever-it-is. And you may end up following them as well